From this weeks sponsor "Teredup Motorsports" www.teredup.com

I dialed a number and got the following recording:  "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.  I am making some changes in my life.  Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."
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  At pilots training back in the Air Corps they taught us, "Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you make."
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  Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house.  Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake."
  
  "No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without asking."
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  Aspire to inspire before you expire.
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   My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.
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  As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray."
  
  From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."
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  Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
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  Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
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  The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.
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  God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
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    I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.
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  Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
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    The best computer is a man, and it's the only one that can be mass produced by unskilled labor.